A loss is a loss.

Or so they say. You don't dare go on the WW message board and complain about any kind of loss. Especially not a two pound loss. Even though I just lost what I gained last week. And my pattern of losing four pounds every fourth weeks was broken. I like that I have posted my weights on the right hand side of my blog page. It is much easier to read them that way then on the weight tracker. I have been in the 180's since the end of June. So even if I lose 2 pounds next week, it will have taken me 3 months to lose ten pounds. I know, it slow down as you go, but still it is frustrating.

I am going to try and work on not taking bites here and there this week. I was very strict about that in the beginning, but I have slacked off. If you have a bit here and there, they add up. I caught my self a few times today. And a couple of times it was too late. I weigh and measure my food, so my meals are pretty accurate. But I am not going to go track a couple of pretzel fish, or a few bites of something, but that adds up.

A thin line.

So, yesterday was weigh in, and I had a two pound gain. Better than the four pounds I was up a few days ago. But that put me back to 183, a pound over the overweight/obese line. This morning I was back to 182, but it isn't official until next weeks weigh in. And if my pattern continues, I will have a good loss next week. The irony? I was pretty good last week. I knew that that was a week I usually gain or maintain. I used 10 1/2 weeklies. I ate some M&M's. I baked 70 mini cupcakes for a couple of meetings last week, and ate one. Yes, one mini cupcake that was two points. I was at our Church's Fall Festival all day Saturday. I took one of my two point sandwiches, low fat crackers and carrots. We did have dinner there, where I had one and a half small burritos and four tortilla chips. I did not partake in any of the yummy baked goods. And I worked on my feet for 9 hours. But, I know this is what my body does. On the other hand, we went to the fair yesterday. I used 8 &1/2 weeklies yesterday alone. I had an onion burger, fries, and a scone. And I still had some M&M's last night. And I was down a pound this morning. I love the one week a month that my metabolism kicks in to high gear!

I really hope that I do have a good loss this week and get out of the danger zone of obesity. Since I know I am having a 2-3 pound gain a month, I need to get as far away from that thin line as possible. Even though I realize it is just a number. And really, I still look obese. Which leads me to:

I am currently doing physical therapy for some knee issues. Anyone that knows me knows that I am not super touchy feely. I have gotten more so, but not with people I don't know. So it is very uncomfortable for me to be in this big room full of people and have the Physical therapist feeling all over. I mean, I am lying on a table and he is trying to find my hip flexors. Good luck with that, buddy. I can't wait until he asks me to hold my big tummy so he can find them. Last week he was feeling my sides and torso, and asked if I had a shirt on under my shirt. Um no, but that has never stopped you before. So he says, these must be adhesions. WTF? Oh, I realize then that he is talking about all of my stretch marks. Yes, you can feel them as well as see them. Good Lord. I can't wait until this torture is over. I also stand wrong, walk wrong, my femur and tibia are longer on the left, and my posture overall sucks. But I am overweight, not obese! Maybe I should tell him that tomorrow. Yesterday I explained that my posture was due to all of my weight being in the middle, and that I used to weigh 74 pounds more. I wasn't looking at him, so I don't know for sure if he rolled his eyes.

Mid week check in.

Okay, it isn't quite mid week, but two days after weigh in, I am up two pounds. Yikes. I ate quite a few peanut M&M's last night while playing Bunco. At least this mornings scale reading kept me from partaking in all the goodies at the brunch. I haven't even eaten one of the yummy mini cupcakes I made. I did however, get into the peanut M&M's this afternoon. Then I told my hubby to eat the rest. Maybe I should check on that. Or maybe not. I need to really work on being good the rest of the week. I do not want to lose my overweight status! I have also noticed that I have gotten lazy with the whole "bites, licks and tastes" thing. I need to stop that and make sure I record every point. Which doesn't happen when I just have a bite here or a taste there.

Of course I am very happy with my weight loss so far. It does present a little issue though. It draws attention to me. For the most part it is great attention. Even though I am not good at receiving compliments. I have been trying to just say thank you and not disqualify the compliment, like "thanks, I'm not doing good tonight though". Don't get me wrong, I love the compliments. I do find it weird when people who haven't seen me in awhile ask if I have lost weight. I usually answer, yes, I have lost 74 pounds, or whatever the number is at the time. I mean really? Maybe I should try saying no next time. There are a lot of people that don't say anything. Which is especially weird when one person gets all excited, going on about how great I look, etc., and the person with them stares at me like, what are you talking about? Then there are the "your face looks so different" comments. Not really sure what to make of those. To quote Rachel on Friends, "good different?" I get it, I still have a ways to go. I know I am still fat. Even though I get called "skinny" all the time. Commence the weird stares from onlookers. IT is pretty funny.

Dodged a bullet!

No gain this week! Now I have to be very careful not to gain this coming week. Of course I would love a loss, but these are the two weeks of the month were I either stay the same or gain. This week I have some challenges. I am hosting bunco at my house tomorrow, which means serving some yummy food. Then I have a brunch on Thursday, where there will be more yummy food. Saturday, I will be working our Fall Festival at church all day. There will be tons of good food there, and I will be hungry! So I will have to be careful and aim not to have a gain. Then the following week is wen I usually have a good loss.