A lot can happen in three years.

Wow, three years since I have been here. The blog needs some major polishing. As do I. Yep, I have regained about 60 pounds, give or take. Actually, I regained it all in two years. I am about the same now as I was this time last year. I lost about 12 pounds over the summer. Then I regained those, plus 6 more. Now I am down those six again. So much to talk about. Refatting. My accidental social experiment. My job. My job search. Entering into my "late" forties, in a world of thiry somethings. Labels, assumptions and misconceptions. Oh, and I am totally hidden in plain sight again.

Yo yo platau

From mid November to mid December, I lost nine pounds. Since then, I have staled/gained. I know that was a quick loss. The thing is, I haven't really eaten any different from mid November until now. WW changed their program the week after Thanksgiving. Most the things I eat went up in points, and my dailies only increased by three. After the gain this week, I went back and looked at what I have been eating. When I add it up using the old points, I am eating less. So my conclusion is that I initially lost really fast, and now I am in a gain pattern because I have effed up my metabolism. I didn't realize it, because with the new plan, I am using all of my weeklies and sometimes I am using activity points. But it is still less that I was eating before. So this week I am making sure that I am getting the equivelent of 26 points or more. I am not really worrying about my points plus. At the end of the week, I will go back and add it all up. Let's hope this works!

Holiday gain

Wow, I have been a terrible blogger! I gained one pound over the holidays. I am hoping for a small loss this week. I found this year to be the most stressful Christmas season in a very long time. It was so hard working and trying to fit everything in. I didn't want to miss out on any celebrating, and I didn't want Sophie to miss out either. Chet and I went from the Sunday before Thanksgiving to Christmas without a day off together. So we never got to make our family trip to downtown Seattle. And work itself was very stressful. I am still trying to get used to the job itself, plus being away from Sophie. When I think about it, I cry. The two years I didn't work were like a vacation to me. I know everyone has their own view on this, but to me, it was a vacation. Yes, it was hard work, and sometimes depressing. But I still have all the work I had before. What I am missing out on is all the fun time I had with Sophie. A lot of my mom friends just don't get it. There is so much complaining about how hard it is to be a stay at home mom. So, try adding a full time job to that, and tell me how much easier it is! I realize some moms rather work, some do it by choice, some want to work but stay home, not fully by choice. I want to stay home. Getting to do it for a short time was a huge blessing to me. I just wish I could still be home.

So, I did splurge more than I have since I started the program in the weeks around Christmas. I just did not care. I didn't go totally off program. I did track, and stay within my weekly and activity points. But, I felt I deserved to splurge. I did go back a little to my old pattern of comforting myself with food. But knowing how I deal with stress, really that was the best I could do. And a one pound gain after losing nine in the previous month wasn't too bad.

In this new year of 2011, not only do I want to reach my big goal of 100 lost and the normal weight range, but I want to lose about 20 on top of that. So when we reach 2012, I will be happy to be around 135. I really want to be a size 8, but I don't know what weight will get me there. Or if I can get there without some corrective surgery. I sure will be happy to be "normal" though!

The day started out so well!

Sorry, I never even posted last week, though I did update my weight last week. I lost one pound last week, and one pound this week. So I am at 175, and have lost 80 pounds!
I was very happy to hit this milestone this morning. Then the day went to hell in a hand basket.

I took my daughter to preschool, and no one was there. They canceled class today, and nobody called me. Since I worked last night, I wasn't too happy that I could have slept in. So we went back home, and Sophie was very upset, kicking and crying. I left for the mall, and she and Chet were going to head to the grocery store after he took a shower. Chet had left his phone at work, so I couldn't get a hold of him. When I got home, the garage door was wide open. Then I went to go in, and the door into the house was open. As I stepped in, our bedroom door was wide open. I started calling for our dog Toby. I'm not really sure what I thought at that point. I was just scared that Toby got out and wouldn't be found. When I didn't find him in the house, I ran outside. I found him in the backyard. I was so relieved, I didn't think much of it. I thought Chet must have forgotten to close the doors. It didn't even occur to me that it could be something else, even though all three doors were open. About ten minutes later, I went to move his briefcase, because it was in my way. It flew open, and when I went to shut it, I noticed that both locks were broken. That's when I realized someone had been in the house. The tv's and computers were still here, so I went into our master bedroom. Sure as shit, my big jewelry box was gone. They also took our two camera's, and our video camera. There was lots of important stuff in my jewelry box. I called 911, and the police came, lifted fingerprints, and talked to the neighbors. I hope they can catch the person. I really want my things back. Plus I would like to beat the shit out of this person.

As much as I want to comfort myself with food, I really haven't. I used three weeklies, which I always do on weigh in day. Usually I use 5 on Tuesdays. Right now, I am very upset, but I can't cry. I hope I don't start comforting myself with food.

Holding at 177

Well, at least as of Tuesday. Right now, I think I am up. Let's hope I at least stay at 177 by this Tuesday. Since I am closing the next four days, it is possible. It will be busy, I will get a lot of exercise, and I won't be home to eat a ton of snacks at night. As long as I don't go overboard when I get home. I have a bad cold, so I have been sucking on cough drops. While I know they add up a little, I refuse to track cough drops. I will have 15-20 weeklies leftover, plus activity points, so I should be okay. I just need to stay out of Sophie's Halloween candy!

I happened upon a bmi calculator this morning. My current bmi is 28.3. I plugged in my starting weight, and my bmi was 43.2. I had no idea it was that high. I had been using the Wii, and they had my bmi in the 38ish range. Although, at that time I was hovering in the low 240's. Also, according to this calculator, I have to get to 154 to be normal, and not 155. The WW bmi calculator has it at 155. The one I used this morning was attached to an ad for a weight loss center near me. It said you had to have a bmi of 40 to qualify for the surgery. So I would have more than qualified. Which I knew, but to see it in black and white is kind of jarring.

Howling Tuesday

It is almost Halloween! I love Halloween! All holidays, really. Of course, I love Halloween candy. Last year, I started WW 11 days before Halloween. Of course, I had a lot more points than I do now, so I was able to still indulge in some candy and have good losses. Last week, I did have some candy. Only now, I try not to have more than two fun size bars in a day. I did have three Reeses one day, spread out through the day. Before WW, it would have been at least three times as much. Still, I lost two pounds this week. Down to 177. I am pretty happy with that. All the exercise I am getting at work is paying off.

WW Anniversary

On this day last year, I signed up for WW online. It was a Monday night, and I had been getting desperate about my weight. So much so that I had been talking to my hubby about weight loss surgery. He was very much against it, and it was something I had always said I would not do. But I had been off work for over a year, and had gained 10 pounds. The year previous to getting pregnant, I had lost 30+ pounds. I gained 15 while pregnant, and quickly lost 22. Then it crept back on. So when Sophie was a year, I was 10 pounds heavier than before I got pregnant. And then a year later, I was 20 pounds heavier than before I got pregnant. I was only about 12 pounds or so below my highest weight. I had sworn I would never see 250 again. The next morning, I weighed in at 255. That was 10/20/2009. This morning I weigh 179. I am really hoping that next year I will be between 135 and 140. I really don't know my exact goal. I am just trying to get to "normal" on the charts, which is 155. Then I will go from there. But I am much happier at 179 then I was at 255!